The Digital Daddy Club
The Digital Daddy Club has opened and is available for all daddies who are looking to up skill and either change to the direction of their career, change jobs to fix that work life balance, get back into work, or you’re just looking for that change. Go to our facebook page and join the group.
I have worked for Daddyjobs.co.uk since the start of September. I am a stay at home dad of two children, and that is a demanding job in itself, but that isn’t the whole of my life. It is just one aspect that enriches the life that I live. I truly believe that the role of ‘Dad’ has changed since my father and grandfather and so on.In fact according to an article in the Guardian there are indications that there are as many as 10 times more stay-at-home dads in the UK than there were a decade ago. This figure is not completely fact – it is an estimation from research completed by the Office for National Statistics. Accurate or not, it still shows that we are a growing breed.
The long established view of the stay-at-home mum is shifting to a more shared approach which has seen more dads reduce the hours of their work in order to share or take some of the responsibility of looking after our children. Hand on heart, I am proud to be part of this growing community of fathers. It is not all sweetness and roses, sometimes as we all know, being a parent can be a difficult job, and whether you’re a stay-at-home dad or mum, isolation, frustration and loneliness can be difficult to manage. That’s even forgetting the other mum/dad jobs we have looking after the house. It’s like running a mini multinational sometimes…I do have a penchant for the melodramatic occasionally.
Some of the facts..
It is not all gloom and doom though – us dads are supposedly a happy bunch. 75% of us feel lucky to able to look after the children. The study behind the Guardian article also revealed a number of emotive responses from role-reversing parents:
Of women who are the main breadwinner:
- Four in 10 (37%) feel guilty going out to work and leaving their children
- One in seven (15%) say they occasionally resent their partner because they have to go out to work
- Although fewer than one in 10 (9%) say they’d actually want to swap places with their partner to be the stay-at-home parent.
Whereas men who are the stay-at-home parents say:
- Three quarters (75%) feel lucky to be spending time with their children
- Around a third (29%) find looking after children more rewarding than going out to work
- Although one in 10 (10%) say looking after children makes them feel “less of a man”
- And one in five (17%) wish they earned more so they could go out to work while their partner cared for the children.
Interestingly, I agree! I am lucky to be a stay at home dad. However, figures can also be misleading and not give the real picture. That’s another reason why we have started this. Whether you’re male or female; mum or dad, you own your own story and life – it is unique to you and as individual as your fingerprint. One of the things I have learnt since becoming a dad, a blogger, a work from homer….a grown up! Is that it is important to share knowledge and experience with people in similar situations; to find different ways of tackling situations and ideas. A lot of mums (not all) are good at this, it is one of the crucial skills that I think women are better at than men – communication. It enables them to communicate their emotions, troubles and share knowledge easily. I see it at the school gate: groups of mums gossiping away everything that is going on in their lives. It is not all gossiping though. They are sharing their stories and ideas about their kids, reaffirming their own thoughts and fears about what they’re doing. It may seem trivial, but it really is ‘good to talk’. It’s not all men though.
As I said, we are a growing breed. Like any new adventurers striding into the unknown, we take a few stumbles and go in a couple of wildly fun ‘scenic routes’. We are quick learners and problem solvers. We can be pragmatic and goal driven. These are all skills that we can use in the stay-at-home dad role. I’ve seen so many great dad blogs out there that give great advice and give honest and open stories about being the main caregiver, and what the highs and lows of that life can be. Being a stay-at-home dad does not have to mean you’re less of a man. It means we need to change the perception of what being a man means.
When the job don’t fit…
One of the reasons I am a stay at home dad is because the job I was in no longer fitted around the term time hours. It is hard finding a job as a dad that has to look after the kids. When mums have said that looking after the kids was a full time job. They weren’t kidding. I think we knew that already to be honest. Most dads aren’t knuckle dragging troglodytes, in fact most of us knew the lengths to which our mothers went to look after us. It is why we are perfectly capable of doing this job, and why more and more of us are doing it. Like many mums before us, being the stay-at-home dad doesn’t confine us to a life of nappies, cleaning and food. It is important that we look after our own health and mental well being. I went through a period of adjustment the first time I did the stay-at-home dad job with my son and daughter. It took me nine months…and then I went back to work. Doing the stay-at-home job again is much better this time. I know more about what to expect and what to avoid. I now keep myself busy by blogging and working from home; keeping healthy and exercising, and making sure I keep the social life going. It is a juggling act which can be a bit heavy at times, but it is not unmanageable – it just takes a little effort …but for a big pay off.
The Digital Daddy Club is a community connected via the Daddyjobs.co.uk website that we want dads to join because we know it important to connect and share experiences.
We want to make that work/life balance right for parents. Dads and mums deserve to be able to work together and have opportunities that fit around their life, and not have to fit their life around their work.
We want to give you the space to share experiences and advice, not just around jobs, but around every aspect of your lives. As much as you want to. Our ambition is to make it easier for parents to live a full life without having to sacrifice the important parts.
We will give opportunities for flexible/part time/ work from home jobs; training options and CV consultation, but most importantly the feeling of being able to control your life. Yes, queue inspirational music to that last sentence, but we really mean it.
The whole reason we started our sites and digital parent clubs is to try to change the landscape for parents who find it difficult to keep up with demands of modern day life. It shouldn’t be a case of if you can beat them join them. It should be if you can’t beat them, change their viewpoint, change the arena, change their minds.
Join the club…